*Explicit Tag*
I don’t believe in luck, good or bad. Although, I don’t discount tragedy.
I’m fairly certain life is a fucked up dichotomy that’s always throwing shit at you and yet gives you the opportunity to behold the most beautiful experiences there are to behold. I think in the face of this, we use whatever guile we have to hopefully steer us in the direction of more of the latter.
In travelling this road, I’ve recently and not so recently made some observations. To borrow from a quote in “The Long Kiss Goodnight”, “Life is pain! Get used to it!” or more specifically, my feeling is: “Life is not fair. Get used to it.” Moreover, if you want anything in life, you have to actually go get it.
“People aren’t lucky.”
The appearance of luck is really a whole shit-ton of hard work and putting yourself into situations where “luck” can happen. Luck is action.
“The grass is always greener on the other side”. This is a funny one. A co-worker and I were discussing this a bit the other day. He talked about how a young man asked an older man, “should I get married?” The morale of the story was basically, if you do you’ll always be wondering what life would be like if you didn’t and if you don’t, you’ll always be wondering what life would have been like if you had. We’re always wondering, “what if?” That’s human nature. I had the epiphany “what if you didn’t always wonder and were completely satisfied with every decision you made?”
“If you aren’t living the most beautiful existence you can, it’s your own damn fault!”
You cannot blame anyone else. You can but it won’t lead you out. I’ve got to tell you I am living an extremely “lucky/blessed” existence. I have amazing experiences and I get to meet amazing people. I also have “amazing” kids! They are the light of my life and encompass the entirety of my purpose to exist. I can’t go on enough about this aspect of my life so I’ll just leave it at that. I work hard at it. But like someone told me a long, long time ago, “it’s easier to live in a higher condition than in a lower one.” In other words, you may think it’s a long long hard road and see nothing but more hard work in the future but when you get to a certain level it’s less work to maintain a good existence than you would be or are exerting at a lower one.
“Don’t let your past control your future!”
We have experienced failure and it “hurts” but to let that pain control you, will limit you. Just imagine if you lived the life you wanted to live and nothing held you back. That is what’s possible. Life will continue to throw shit. Know that and move on.
“Get over it!” This one is a hard one for me but the more I can apply it, the better I am for it. There is tragedy and there are people who would like nothing better than to piss you (or anyone) off. The more you stick to those moments in life, the less positive energy you have to create more good in your life and the lives of others. Shake it off.
“Help others.”
Spend time helping others. There is so much selfishness in the world that it sometimes has the ability to spread around like an unfortunate oil spill, getting goo all over. Remove yourself from that goo and do something to help others, volunteer somewhere, tutor someone, give to a family services charity or do whatever you want that helps. It will feel good.
“Look, Listen and Learn.”
I, for one, hate stupidity. I see people making mistakes all the time. The majority of the time, it is because people go on automatic. They are not present in the moment. They are walking through a world they have imagined in their heads and assume that’s the reality of what’s outside their head. Also, there is so much wisdom around. Be here and now and look around and observe. Listen to what the world is telling you. Listen to what people are saying around you. And, learn from it.
“There’s no whining on the yacht.”
I learned this one from Kanen Flowers of Scruffy Thinking. He learned it from someone and he says it from time to time on his podcasts to emphasize how silly it is to complain about such small uncomfortable situations when we’re living a pretty amazing life. It’s true. We are. And if you don’t think you are, see above or perhaps just look at it from another angle. My wife gave a sigh this morning about some task she was about to do. I just told her, “There’s no whining on the yacht!” I mean look at the most amazing day you are about to spend, enjoying time with our amazing children. This is a time that will not repeat itself. Take it in and sip the champagne!
When you put together the meanings of all of the sayings above, and apply them to your life, one could get a pretty remarkable outlook on life and move forward with huge leaps and bounds.
This is what has happened to me, with the help of the Scruffy Thinking podcast and other experiences that I choose to expose myself to. I am experiencing a change in my view on life. Kanen has conversations with some of the most amazing people and through their sharing of life views, I have been able to examine my own life and experiences and synthesize my own ideas and approaches that I want to take. The paragraphs above are an example of that. This is why I love all of the Scruffy Thinking podcasts: Scruffy Thinking, Ruining it For Everyone and That Post Show. So, thank you Kanen! What you do means a lot. I feel you are contributing to a better world. Again, thank you!
